A Simple Guide to Male Masturbation

Throughout the years sexual activities have been vilified through media and religions and government agencies. Lucky for us an age has finally come to mankind in which sexuality and most sexual activities are no longer frowned upon. Welcome back to Rome. Even this day however several people still have issues with sex and masturbation. This is terrible because in actuality it is mentally unhealthy not to get some form of sexual release. Here is a guide for the average male to do so without a partner.

Basic Masturbation:

Studies show that humans generally discover their genitals around the age of 2-3. Upon discovery we of course realize the pleasure that can be had from them. Of course we don't excrete semen until much later in life, being underdeveloped, so we can't orgasm yet but pleasure is still there. That is a sensitive place. Point being: it comes to us instinctualy! You know what to do and how to do it guys. Just grab it and go.
First there is the dry hand method used for several reasons. Maybe you need to beat one off fast before somebody comes home or maybe you're at work in the bathroom (hopefully not) or perhaps you prefer the roughness of your palm. Either way we all have done this at one point or another. Honestly though using a lubricant enhances the experience three fold. If you haven't tried it you should.
When using a lubricant you have to be careful of what you choose. You don't want to accidentally give yourself a rash down there or something worse (I've heard of guys getting chemical burns). Your safest bet is always going to be your own saliva but I would only recommend that if you are allergic to manufactured lubricants. There are plenty of lubes to choose from at your local market. Test them out and find which one best suits you. Personally I prefer Astroglide. If for some reason you can't use these lubes or wont there are still plenty of options: shaving cream, butter, hand lotions and lard are just a few examples. Before you use anything for a lubricant READ THE LABEL. You need to make sure that what you're using doesn't contain any ingredients that you are allergic to otherwise you wont enjoy your wank session for very long.

Strategies:

Anybody can just beat their meat but if you're not exploring then you're really selling yourself short. Next time you have the chance try different things with your penis. Instead of just pumping it like a piston in your fist try stroking it. The head and the balls are much more sensitive than the shaft and the underside of the shaft is its most sensitive part. Keeping this in mind, try different techniques which focus on these areas. Use both your hands to massage your head and your balls at the same time. Figure out where you like to be rough and where you like to be gentle. Try different hand positions. Be sure to switch it up every once in a while, variety works wonders as repeating the same motions can get old quick. If you run out of ideas try the first thing that comes to mind, chances are you'll find something new to enjoy.

Urethral Insertion:

WARNING: URETHRAL INSERTION CAN LEAD TO SERIOUS HEALTH ISSUES SUCH AS: INFECTION, OBSTRUCTION, NARROWING OF THE URETHRA AND OFTEN RESULTS IN SURGERY.
Sounds a bit scary huh? Maybe so but this is quickly becoming a trend. Why? Why else does anyone do something so risky? Because its exciting and pleasurable. Granted the insertion process is uncomfortable to say the least but the masturbation experience becomes much more intense. Like every different form of masturbation under the sun this isn't for everyone. In fact, just because of the health risks I advise against it. However, if you're going to do it play it safe.
When inserting something into your urethra you really need to be cautious. Make sure that your utensil has a handle or a base so that you don't lose it. You also want to make sure you are using something that wont flake or break off during. The most common reason people seek medical help after urethral insertion is because they got something stuck inside or it fell through into their bladder. DO NOT USE CANDLES. Honestly, the inside of your body is generally 98.6 degrees and that is plenty enough heat to melt a candle before you're finished.
If you are trying this for the first time start out small. Don't just try to shove a spoon into your penis right off the bat, you probably wont get it to fit. Start with something small like a pen or your grandmother's croutche pin. If what you're using doesn't have a handle or a base attach something to it to keep from losing it. I can't stress enough that you have to be careful doing this. Once you've stretched a bit then you're ready to start using bigger objects. Soon enough you'll be just like that guy in the "Me Next" video. You can find toys for this specific purpose at most local sex shops.

Anal Insertion:

WARNING: ANAL INSERTION CAN LEAD TO SEVERE HEALTH RISKS SUCH AS: INFECTION AND RUPTURING OF THE COLON
We've all heard the stories about people losing things in there butts: toy cars, gerbils, highlighters. When inserting something anally make sure it is something you can get out easily. Your best bet is to buy yourself a dildo or a vibrator. These come in several different shapes and sizes so you have plenty of options. If you can't be bothered buying a dildo though there are plenty of household items that are safe.
If it is your first time trying anal insertion I highly recommend that you use lubrication. Otherwise you might not even get past the actual insertion and to the masturbation as it can be very painful. Again, you want to start out small here. Pencils, Sharpies, a toothbrush (don't reuses for intended purpose) are just a few examples. Usually the rectum has a length of 10-15 cm so keep that in mind when you're practicing anal masturbation. It is easy to get carried away and accidentally and painfully rupture your colon.
After a bit of practice you will be ready to move on to bigger objects. Remember to always lube (unless you're into pain) and work on stretching slowly. Don't jump from the width of a quarter to a coke bottle. Remember, the prostate gland isn't very far up your butt so pleasure can be achieved without the use of a plunger shaft (which I don't recommend by the way, people have died and think of the splinters).
Afterward you may excrete a very smelly fluid. This is nothing to worry about as its usually just the lubricant used mixed with fecal matter. If there are specks of blood in the fluid or if it is red you may have cause an internal injury or you may have simply stretched your anus too much. If you experience severe internal pain search medical attention immediately.

Autofellatio:

WARNING: AUTOFELLATIO CAN LEAD TO SEVERE BACK PROBLEMS
Autofellatio is something that you either can or can't do. Just because you don't get it on the first try doesn't mean you can't do it. Work on stretching and becoming more flexible. Take baby steps when attempting this. Initially, if you can do it, you will probably only be able to get the tip of your head in your mouth. Don't despare! With practice you can manage on general half of your penis. This can be done with a penis 5in in length (though not suggested). Autofellatio of course feels amazing but the downside is you will always have an acheing back during and once you're finished. This could last for days so proceed with caution.
Even if you can't quite suck your own dick you may be able to get it close enough to lick it. Anyone who has had a worthwhile blow job knows that the tongue can do a lot of really great things for sexual stimulation.

Thats all for now. If needed I will make a better and more up to date version of this guide. Thank you for reading and happy fapping.

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