Al-Qaeda Official Magazine Receives a Warm Reception [Review Inside]
Totse Anon
Regular
The people in the underground scene are rejoicing after downloading the latest copy of Al-Qaeda Magazine. It featured pin up girls in Burkha and some infidels jokes along with tons of good stuff. The Magazine was highly encrypted and took ages to download. It was created using Adobe Acrobat 8.
The Magazine featured many different section. From Interviews to entertainment it had everything. Although the English could have been better and the layout was a total copy pasta but it was still pretty decent considering it was created in some caves. They did over use some images which we didn't like.
The most surprising aspect of the magazine were the schemes, like th kill for virgins coupons. You can earn the free coupons by bombing or killing infidels. The special coupons give your access to 72 virgins in your grave. AQ Shafiq the mastermind behind this scheme revealed that it's doing quite well and already more than 15 coupons have been used. According to AQ Shafiq, you blow yourself up and the coupon would then get tainted by your blood and then by the blessing of Allah you will get to see a sneak preview of 72 virgins doing it lesbain style. After that when your pieces are put to rest you will get a visit from Zombie virgins which will then give you an amazing blowjob. You might have problems fucking them since the bomb would leave you with nothing but it's a small trade off.
The Magazine has been a huge success, the users praised about the pin up shots. A local terrorist proclaimed he would die to just lift that burkha, others have asked for a competition in which Terrorists get rewarded marrying those girls.
According to the photographer (who shot the pictures) all these pinup girls were kindnapped and forced into wearing burkha. They where beaten and when required raped daily all in the name of ALLAH the mighty hardon.
Some serious bomb makers enjoyed the recipe section. It contained some very informative cup cake recipes along with some sweet ass pipe bombs. One of the most praised bomb making recipe was about making bombs using animals. They explained that if you forced fed a camel certain compounds and let him wander and then remotely insert the TNT in his asshole, it would make the perfect bomb. Since no one searches or does cavity search of animals, it's a fool proof plan worth trying.
According to Jamal a local terrorist living in the close to the border of Pakistan, this idea is amazing. He tested it and it worked quite well. Acoording to him, some Americans would come and fuck his sheep at night just to mock him. Using this recipe he planted some REDACTED compounds and when the poor fucker came to bone his sheep he died. Unfortunately during the same night his youngest son died as well. When asked about this from the American they just giggled and showed us the video where Jamal young son is told to fuck his Dad sheep for a dollar.
Due to nature of the Magazine the M16, CIA, ISI and other Intelligence Agencies are keeping tracks of things. M16 is also working on launching their own Magazine. The said that unlike Al-Qaeda they can post porn and will include white women taking TNT in the ass.
The Magazine spokesperson told us the next edition will include free camel porn DVD's and porn passes. They also mentioned that, they will add brutal rape section and market their magazine on the Internet as well.
Look out TIMES and other shitty Magazine, Al-Qaeda is here to stay.
The Magazine featured many different section. From Interviews to entertainment it had everything. Although the English could have been better and the layout was a total copy pasta but it was still pretty decent considering it was created in some caves. They did over use some images which we didn't like.
The most surprising aspect of the magazine were the schemes, like th kill for virgins coupons. You can earn the free coupons by bombing or killing infidels. The special coupons give your access to 72 virgins in your grave. AQ Shafiq the mastermind behind this scheme revealed that it's doing quite well and already more than 15 coupons have been used. According to AQ Shafiq, you blow yourself up and the coupon would then get tainted by your blood and then by the blessing of Allah you will get to see a sneak preview of 72 virgins doing it lesbain style. After that when your pieces are put to rest you will get a visit from Zombie virgins which will then give you an amazing blowjob. You might have problems fucking them since the bomb would leave you with nothing but it's a small trade off.
The Magazine has been a huge success, the users praised about the pin up shots. A local terrorist proclaimed he would die to just lift that burkha, others have asked for a competition in which Terrorists get rewarded marrying those girls.
According to the photographer (who shot the pictures) all these pinup girls were kindnapped and forced into wearing burkha. They where beaten and when required raped daily all in the name of ALLAH the mighty hardon.
Some serious bomb makers enjoyed the recipe section. It contained some very informative cup cake recipes along with some sweet ass pipe bombs. One of the most praised bomb making recipe was about making bombs using animals. They explained that if you forced fed a camel certain compounds and let him wander and then remotely insert the TNT in his asshole, it would make the perfect bomb. Since no one searches or does cavity search of animals, it's a fool proof plan worth trying.
According to Jamal a local terrorist living in the close to the border of Pakistan, this idea is amazing. He tested it and it worked quite well. Acoording to him, some Americans would come and fuck his sheep at night just to mock him. Using this recipe he planted some REDACTED compounds and when the poor fucker came to bone his sheep he died. Unfortunately during the same night his youngest son died as well. When asked about this from the American they just giggled and showed us the video where Jamal young son is told to fuck his Dad sheep for a dollar.
Due to nature of the Magazine the M16, CIA, ISI and other Intelligence Agencies are keeping tracks of things. M16 is also working on launching their own Magazine. The said that unlike Al-Qaeda they can post porn and will include white women taking TNT in the ass.
The Magazine spokesperson told us the next edition will include free camel porn DVD's and porn passes. They also mentioned that, they will add brutal rape section and market their magazine on the Internet as well.
Look out TIMES and other shitty Magazine, Al-Qaeda is here to stay.
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