Home› Spurious Generalities

Decadent lifestyle

fagfag Regular
edited March 2012 in Spurious Generalities
So last night I'd drank a margarita. Pretty good size. Used a full pint mug, maybe 5 shots of tequila. Im a lightweight, so I was pretty much set. Also, pre-frozen margarita mix cubes are the way to go.

Anyway, I was getting pretty bored with the evening's development. So I decided to brush my teeth.

Then after that, I was feeling a bit frisky and slightly deviant, so I grabbed the strap-on dildo out from beneath the bed. Then I produced some vaseline and a condom off my nightstand.

Anyways, after a bit of painful ramming, I concluded I really hated things in my ass. I thought maybe it just took some time to grow accustomed to it. But no, not in my case.

So I peel the rubber johnnie off the 7" silicone dick and toss it in the trash. Only it wasn't the trash. It was actually my boot. This is a fucking $500 pair of boots, mind you. Luckily, it was turned inside out, so it probably isn't too big a deal.

This morning, I see some remnants of brown shit stuck to the condom. So I decided to toss it in an empty ice cream box. Chocolate, no less. I also had a used syringe laying around, so I tossed that in there too. Im probably going to leave the ice cream box near a school or something.

The End.


christmasah.png
Share on Twitter

Comments

  • HomerSimpsonHomerSimpson Regular
    edited March 2012
    They can get DNA from fecal matter, if they wanted to find out who left it. But thats bad for you only if your DNA is on file somewhere, and if they care enough to actually go through the process n such.
    Share on Twitter
  • DfgDfg Admin
    edited March 2012
    I am surprised your ass isn't that clean. You shouldn't get fecal matter on the condom but I guess you shouldn't use a 7 inch dildo as well. Try jerking off while you're sliding it in.
    Share on Twitter
  • fagfag Regular
    edited March 2012
    Dfg wrote: »
    I am surprised your ass isn't that clean. You shouldn't get fecal matter on the condom but I guess you shouldn't use a 7 inch dildo as well. Try jerking off while you're sliding it in.

    How dare you comment on the cleanliness of my colon? Paki bastard.

    Also, who wants to buy the box? I will take bids via PM.
    Share on Twitter
  • RemadERemadE Global Moderator
    edited March 2012
    Oh fuck, I'm eating :(
    Share on Twitter
  • fagfag Regular
    edited March 2012
    RemadE wrote: »
    Oh fuck, I'm eating :(

    Care for some ice cream?
    Share on Twitter
  • RemadERemadE Global Moderator
    edited March 2012
    No, but having Crohn's, I shit out a resemblance to what's in that tub most days. Living a decadent lifestyle is good but you burn out quick. I intend on having a decadent day - University open day. Crack out the spliffs and tequila just to assure them their kiddywinks will be in good hands.
    Share on Twitter
Sign In or Register to comment.