What should I say????
Vicky
Regular
A friend's brother just died young, I never knew them but I don't know what the hell to say to my friend or how to act. I suck at situations like this. Can anyone give me any advice on things to say???? If I wing it I'll end up accidentally saying something untactful and this guy is really sensitive. I've never had anyone I knew well die, never been to a funeral so I can't even relate in the slightest. And if I come out with a story about my cat that died I'm pretty sure this friend will be insulted.
Comments
Or you could just go for something more Totsean: "Molotov everything."
What if she isn't sorry for his loss?
Get the emo this fallout boy album and tell him track 2 may help with this sad loss.:(
I'm sorry for your loss. Let him feel you up and/or show us your tits. Make him some kind of dish or dessert like cookies, cause baked goods are awesome when someone just got cremated.
Suicide by Hanging. "Yo! Hows it hanging? I thought I'd hang out with you for a bit"
Hereditary Cancer - "I'm sorry, it must be eating you up inside as well"
etc,etc. Next!
God tells me hes in hell. If thats a better place than ok:p
right right. id say its a better place...all my friends will be there.
Cool I hope you enjoy being pounded by satans cock.:o
pssh i never said im going. but since you already knew, the whol satans cock thing only applies to others. others who didnt have fun in life.
i feel a wholy war abrewin.we can do this but i feel i should tell you that i will win.just because you wont.
I accept your holy war. I fear not your heathen Gods.
Don't say anything having to do with his brother. Chances are he's being assaulted on all sides by well meaning morons who think they can console his grief with a couple of words. By saying something you imply that you have some connection with his pain, that you understand it, and you know you don't, and I give you credit for that.
If you truly want to be helpful, just give him a hug, and say, "if you need to talk, give me a call". This might open you up for a little bit more of an emotional investment than you are willing to give, but thats up to you. Give him lots of space, way too many people are going to want to hold his hand, but that will only insult him. Because in his mind his sadness and loss is all he has left that attaches him to his brother, and he will cling to it until he decides it is time to let it go.
Being a friend to someone that has experienced a loss like his is one of life's challenges, listening to someone who is in deep pain is like nails on a blackboard, we don't want to hear it. Most of us would like to just say something like "I heard about your brother, shitty deal, he was too young", and walk away while the poor fucker goes white knuckle/red face, thinking "how the fuck would you know, you never even met him"
If he chooses to talk to you, don't say much. He doesn't want your opinion, he just wants to be heard. If you think you can stand it, let him cry on your shoulder. How you deal with this can make you a better person, and I hope you try to do your best to help him, this work is good karma of the highest order. Watch out though, set some boundaries and make sure he knows you are doing this as a friend, dumping your guts on someone who is willing to take it can create an emotional connection he might later try to pursue.
C/O
"emo?, me?, fuck no, I'm a fucking rock, hail satan, whatever"
Who'd want to go to heaven? I wouldn't want to go to a place that's full of assholes, even if the concepts of heaven and hell were true.