Just Had a Visit From The Police

LysdexicLysdexic Regular
edited October 2011 in Spurious Generalities
So as the title says I have just had a visit from the police, nothing to do with this site so dont panic.
I will post some background info first then the main story, im posting from my phone so sorry about the typos.

Background
So Im currently living in the UK, me and my parnter live in a small sleepy village in the north of England, it has a shop/post office, a butchers and a pub, not much to do.
The village has a small creek running through it, seperating the village into 2 parts, one with mostly young familys and one with mostly old retired couples.
Allghough we are both in our early 20s (i look about 10 years older than I am) we live in the retirement home part, its the type of street who recently had a street party for the royal wedding. Everybody knows everybody down our street, apart from us, we get along with the people either side of us but and say hello but dont I feel we are treated like strangers even aftef being there a year.
The only people around our age are the family across the road, their son went to the girlfriends school but was a year or 2 below , and their daughter is learning to drive, so im guessing they are about 19 and 17, but have never actually spoken to them. Most kids that age would be having friends round or going out, these kids just stay at home and do nothing, hell they left the son on his own for a fortnight and even then he had no mates round.


main story
So I got off my last 12 hour night shift this morning at 7, got home and went to sleep. About 10 I heard banging at the door but didnt anwser, a few momments later I see shadows on the window of somebody in our back yard, thinking its gippos looking for something to nick I get dressed and go outside, rounding the corner I find two police officers.
They ask my name and say the would like to ask some questions, since I have nothing to hide we go inside and I make them a cuppa.

So they say that they have a report of me exposeing myself, and I tell them that I have been asleep for the last few hours.
They tell me they got this report on sunday, its now wednesday and want my alibi for sunday night, I tell them the truth, after my third 12 hour shift in a row I get home at about half 7, have some tea and me and the missus watch some TV, shes up early the next morning and goes to bed around 9, I have a few ciders to unwind and watch something about a super prison, fall asleep at the end and the ads wake me up around 10, so I go to bed.
Later I wake up with a dry throat and a massive boner and slightly drunk, so I go to the kitchen and get a drink, I drink it at the table standing up, reading some junk mail and scratch my nutsack.
All of a sudden a the room is lit up by a car, reverseing into a drive across the road, then they put their high beams on and Im blinded, I frantically wave hopeing they will turn them off or I will never get back to sleep, forgetting Im naked, I then give up and head back to bed.


Now the police say that the people across the road reported coming back from a driving lesson and seeing me having a wank at the table.
I may have a decent size dick but to be able to see it clearly from that distance? NO, it turns out that they saw the my shadow on the wall behind me, it could have been anything, I could have been peeling a carrot for a snack and it would have looked the same.
Then I bring up the fact they put their high beams on, did they want to see more? Could they be charged with being a peeping tom?
I also mention its taken them this long to respond, and apparantly the people across the road knew I was working nights the last two nights so told the police to come today, that just sounds like somebodys watchkng my routine.

So the police belive my story, advise me to not walk round naked and close the curtains and they will talk to the people across the street but they doubt it will go further as its their word against mine with no other witnesses.




So thats the story, its not even safe to walk round your own home naked anymore.

Comments

  • DaktologistDaktologist Global Moderator
    edited May 2011
    I've heard of this happening before. Some people need to learn that what one does in the privacy of their own home is their business, no one elses.
  • edited May 2011
    I am naked at home for most of the summer months, and take all due precautions, but some people just can't resist resting their eyes on things they would pass over if they had any sense, like naked people having lunch in a downstairs apartment, or some guy with wood getting a drink of water.

    I don't think you have much to worry about legally, the time of night makes it hard to believe you did it intentionally, but man, if small towns in England are the same as anywhere else, you are going to be pegged as some kind of pervert if the story travels in the wrong circles. Maybe an apologetic note to the offended party is in order, or a flaming bag of cat shit on their doorstep, placation or warning, if you make them think you're nice enough or crazy enough they might not spread the story too much. Probably too late though.

    C/O
    On the subject of small towns;
    "In the remote northern mining towns of Canada, it is customary for a man to scrape out any traces of his recent activities from his "girlfriends" vaginal canal before returning to camp. The local Dene native population practiced this long before the white man arrived, and whalebone tools made for this purpose have been found in sites dating back thousands of years. The Dene words for this practice are translated as; "She's only yours while you're home""
  • edited May 2011
  • edited May 2011
  • edited May 2011
    Wow, I find it really sad that some people will actually go through all the hassle of calling the cops just because they saw somebody naked :facepalm: If I saw someone standing naked at the window, I'd laugh my ass off and think nothing more of it ever again.
  • BoxBox Regular
    edited May 2011
    Nasty fucks. Wear some cloths ffs.
  • dr rockerdr rocker Regular
    edited May 2011
    Where abouts in Northern England are you?

    On topic, fuck them. When I am at home and not planning to go out anymore, I am naked. No one minds (or certainly no one has complained) but if the cops did come around my house for my being naked, I would have one question for them:

    'So?'

    If the fuckers continue to put main beam through the window, have a word with. After that, tell them you are seeking an ASBO.
  • DfgDfg Admin
    edited May 2011
    Those fuckers, I mean this is one of the reason I don't like other countries. People are to fucking butthurt about little things. I usually pump up the volume when I am working. If this was UK I would be in court getting pwned for loud music. But since this is Pakistan no one gives a fuck.

    Install CCTV cams lol and aim it at their daughters room. REVENGE!
  • edited May 2011
    Dfg wrote: »
    Those fuckers, I mean this is one of the reason I don't like other countries. People are to fucking butthurt about little things. I usually pump up the volume when I am working. If this was UK I would be in court getting pwned for loud music. But since this is Pakistan no one gives a fuck.

    Install CCTV cams lol and aim it at their daughters room. REVENGE!

    The key is to make friends with your neighbors here so that you can do things without them getting pissed and reporting you for it. I have my 5.1 booming pretty much all day and night and we've never got complaints :)
  • RemadERemadE Global Moderator
    edited May 2011
    I wouldn't expect anything less from a fellow Brit ToTSEan :hai::thumbsup:
    Also, trx hit the nail on the head. Howdya think I got to grow 15 6/7ft ganja plants without anyone giving a shit? ;)
  • BoxBox Regular
    edited May 2011
    Lordbucket wrote: »

    That's one funny guy. Try pulling that shit here in NY.
  • BigHarryDickBigHarryDick Cock Bite
    edited May 2011
    YouTube - ‪NEVER GET BUSTED AGAIN preview‬‏

    and remember never ever stash your weed in plain sight.:hai:
  • LordbucketLordbucket Acolyte
    edited May 2011
    Box wrote: »
    That's one funny guy. Try pulling that shit here in NY.

    HAHa Word
  • LysdexicLysdexic Regular
    edited May 2011
    slave of the beast
    I have some,it was still light outside when I went to bed (gotta love summer).


    nazimick
    Did you really have to quote the whole thing?
    And Im hung enough, thanks.

    box I do, but I sleep naked and had woken up thirsty.

    dr rocker Yorkshire, thats all you're getting.

    dfg the daughter isnt the nicest thing to look at, and I dont want them thinking I really am a pervert.

    trx100 I get along ok with the guy next door, I just dont see the need to know the full story of somebodys life.
    [Bso an update:][/B]

    I was putting the bin out this morning and the guy next door was also putting his out, he asked me "if they had got him?"
    I was a little stumped so asked I asked what he meant.
    He said that "the people across the had their garage broken into, isnt that why the police talked to you yesterday?"
    I just had to aggree, and told him I had no idea of an update.

    Getting the bin in later the girl across the road was out in the garden so I went and thanked her for not ruining my life, she was blushing a fair bit and I swear she was taking glances at my crotch but said she was sorry and that it was her mams idea. I have no idea if she meant to put the lights on high or call the police, or with the cover story.

    I told her I wont let it happen again and left it at that, hopefuly its the last of it.
  • GoingNowhereGoingNowhere Global Moderator
    edited May 2011
    Ahh, a fellow brit! Isnt amazing how backwards villages can be in society lol I mean, calling the police because they saw someone naked, I mean seriously?? I live in a village in Wales, its a bit of the same thing only there are more younger people :)
  • edited May 2011
    In that case they are invading your privacy and you should've gone over the road and giving the fuckers an earful. At the very least I would have made that point to the police.
  • 0000000000 Regular
    edited September 2011
    my guess is you live near a sammy smiths.
    probably tadcaster.
    report to bad idea for revenge threads.
    ...
    and i am looking through your window most hours/.
  • ThirdRockFromTheSunThirdRockFromTheSun <b style="color:blue;">Third<em style="color:pink;">Cock</em>FromThe<em style="color:brown;">Bum</em
    edited September 2011
    All I have to say is :facepalm: but I'll try stretch this post out a bit longer.

    Seriously? Wanking at your table? Who gives a shit, do what ever you want to do in your home. Tell them to stop fucking around at your windows. You should have reported them for just peeping.

    Damn, man. What retards.
  • LysdexicLysdexic Regular
    edited September 2011
    00000 wrote: »
    my guess is you live near a sammy smiths.
    probably tadcaster.
    report to bad idea for revenge threads
    ...
    and i am looking through your window most hours/.

    Whos sammy smith?

    Edit: oh the brewery, not a big fan of John Smiths.
    Interesting fact, when they started brewing fosters (think it was fosters) the heat difference between the two meant they lost one and a half days brewing time waiting for heating/cooling.
    To stop this, over the space of a year or so each batch of john smiths was brewed at a slightly lower heat.
    The idea was that regluar drinkers would slowly get used to it and people who drank it only once in a while would not notice as it was so long since their last one, or the company did not mind losing that customer.
    It worked.


    Close enough to taddy, fancy a pint sometime?
  • 0000000000 Regular
    edited October 2011
    Lysdexic wrote: »
    Close enough to taddy, fancy a pint sometime?
    yes
    private message me.

    Samuel Smith is a brewer. But the Samuel Smith's lager in his pubs is over 6% and it only costs £1.80 as there is no bandit or jukebox in the pub.
  • LouisCypherLouisCypher Regular
    edited October 2011
    Lysdexic wrote: »
    So as the title says I have just had a visit from the police, nothing to do with this site so dont panic.

    Fuck I was totally about to panic bro.
  • LysdexicLysdexic Regular
    edited October 2011
    No need to worry even if it was, shits months old.
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