Just got up to go for a piss as I had an early night but I still can't get this out of my head. I spent all day waiting for some bitch to come on over, altering my routine and meds so as to be in a responsive and sober state for when she arrived and as I got into bed to say "It'd have been nice to have seen you today. Went a bit down the pan didn't it?"
she replied with....brace for it..."I was wearing a jumper and would have been really hot in your room"
I was so dumbfounded and not even expecting anything sexual. Her job is a goddamn Burlesque dancer. If anything she knows how to get changed and/or strip off
So, what are your most crappy letdowns?
I haven't really had any shockers, generally the usual "I forgot".
I'll be changing my ways to match this soon. Right now I couldn't care less about the excess skin around a vagina - known as "woman".
This past week I had a girl who was due to come over Saturday evening (5-6pm) and she said she was "too tired" at 10am. It's the weekend, so get some sleep and you'll be fine. Plus I have coffee and whatever else you need.
Not to mention last night where I just got my money taken for some prick to take my place in a taxi while I stumbled home in the freezing cold. Remember that night on TS where I was an emotional wreck after doing a load of Ketamine? Well my willpower stuck and I am so glad i didn't touch that stuff last night or there would have been blood. And not mine. People, especially women right now, are fucking fickle...and if a guy (ie: me) asks why they don't stick to their decision as I do my best to please everyone, I get branded an obsessive/pervert. Not at all - I just hate being let down with a retarded excuse. Honesty is the best policy. I've had to let people down at the last minute if, say, I am in huge amounts of pain, but I keep positive to aoid the pain and be in as little discomort as possible.
Unfortunately most people I deal with are weak-willed and won't leave the house if they have a sniffle, or run off if they get caught up in a drunken moment. When they aren't even that drunk.
In short - my faith in humankind has reached an all time low with the amount of times people have let me down. Cue the rant about trust issues.
There is no emotion, there is peace.
There is no ignorance, there is knowledge.
There is no passion, there is serenity.
There is no chaos, there is harmony.
There is no death, there is the Force.
Now let's break that down.
There is no emotion, there is peace:
Emotions are a natural part of living. As the great sagas have shown us, Jedi are not immune to feeling emotions. Jedi Master Obi-Wan Kenobi and Master Yoda both openly express their sorrow when they discover the death of younglings at the newly-appointed Darth Vader's hand. This tenet is not to say that emotion does not exist but that it ought to be set aside. Emotions must be understood first, and it is a young Jedi's duty to explore his feelings. Unless a Jedi can confront his thoughts and feelings, he will never achieve peace. Emotions, then, are not to be overcome or denied, but rather understood and dealt with. A'Sharad Hett reminds the young Anakin Skywalker of this during their campaigns together during the Clone Wars. Hett points out that Anakin's anger is understandable, but he must face it. This tenet could be modified to read "Emotion cannot take away my peace."
There is no ignorance, there is knowledge:
A Jedi must be circumspect and try to understand the world that is surrounding him. That ignorance does not exist is, of course, a flat-out lie or gross misunderstanding. Simply ignoring facts that do not fit with one's viewpoint is equally foolhardy. Ignorance is a part of life but it must not be feared. For more knowledge to light their way, the Jedi Temple Archives contain possibly the single largest source of information in the galaxy, but this tenet also reminds the Knight that knowledge can be taken from the most unusual places. The great Master Yoda demonstrated this to the young Luke Skywalker on Dagobah when he acted like a fool, and when he acted childish in front of younglings. This performance was meant to teach Luke and the younglings the simple fact: even the foolish can be wise. Indeed, while instructing younglings, Master Yoda was often heard to remark that "Truly wonderful the mind of a child is." This tenet is what gives the Jedi his open mind and ability to accept what other beings would tend to see as unacceptable, unbounded by preconceived notions, unfettered by rigid thought, and unhampered by doubt. In other words, this tenet points out that often a Jedi must use not only his rational mind but also his intuitive mind in order to ascertain the truth of a situation. This tenet is embodied by Qui-Gon Jinn's statement to Anakin Skywalker to "feel, don't think." Dexter Jettster would further demonstrate this notion: "I should think you Jedi would have more respect for the difference between knowledge and wisdom."
There is no passion, there is serenity:
This tenet is more than a repetition of the first. It refers more directly to situations of extreme stress in which a Jedi might be tempted to react strongly, or be so focused on the task and not the goal. That a Jedi must draw his weapon only in defense is an expression of this tenet, keeping all other options open. While emotions and intuition must be understood and utilized in a Jedi's daily life, they must be checked, lest the Jedi act rashly and lose objectivity. Passionate use of power leads to the dark side. A Jedi must always act with a calm hand and an even temper. "when in doubt, stay your hand", observing each situation as clearly as the Force sees it, not clouded with unbridled passion.
There is no chaos, there is harmony:
This statement reflects the cosmology of the Jedi Order. Whereas uninitiated beings see the universe as a chaotic and disconnected place, a Jedi realizes that all things are interconnected and, more importantly, interdependent, in a never-ending cycle of balance. While an uninitiated being sees sorrow and tragedy in the workings of the universe, through the Force, a Jedi is able to interpret and understand even the most painful of life's events. Every event has a purpose. As the great Jedi Master Yoda told Anakin Skywalker once, "Death is a natural part of life." Minor inconveniences such as failure, disappointment, and disagreement are also inevitable and should be taken in stride. Jedi do not deny the fact that tragic and terrible things happen; they merely point out that tragedy is simply another part of life. This too leads to a balanced, objective, and realistic view of existence.
There is no death, there is the Force:
A common argument is merely observing how a thing affects another thing, preventing those aware of their own finite existence from truly seeing the world as the Force sees it. A Jedi, like many ancient feudal knights of various empires, must always be ready for death, and not obsess nor be ruled by it. As a warrior not only in combat but also in day-to-day life, it is easy to fail and fall, then rise up without distraction or attachment holding the Jedi back. As Qui-Gon Jinn pointed out to the young Anakin Skywalker, it is quite possible to kill a Jedi, and it happens often. The sense of loss is often even greater for one who feels it with the Force, and it is difficult to maintain equilibrium. Death, however, is not a tragedy and is merely a part of the life cycle. Without death, life could not exist. The Force in us, still lives on after we die. This tenet represents the view of the Jedi Order that accepts, indeed embraces, death and life, rot and growth, corruption and purity, not as opposites but as dual pairs, each can't exist without the other, as nature intends. As such, Jedi do not fear death nor do they mourn it overmuch; a Jedi, after all, must celebrate death if he is to also celebrate life. While sources disagree on this point, it is noteworthy to point out that this tenet does not support vegetarianism among the Jedi but, some scholars argue, it does in fact support omnivorism among Jedi, whatever life form does to survive. In one notable encounter, a Jedi continued to deal with Colicoids after a companion was slain and consumed, maintaining that if the Colicoids did not act thus, they would not be following their own path, and if he allowed sentiment to cloud his dealings, he too, would not be on his path either. This tenet is often quoted upon a Jedi's death, sometimes referring to becoming one with the force, or even as living forever as a force ghost.
This tenet also reminds the Jedi that death is a transitory state for any living being and is not truly an end to one's life, but merely the beginning of the next stage of one's journey. Through the Force, existence continues both as a constant state of connection to all living things as well as through the state of afterlife which follows death. Death, as perceived by the living, is an illusion and the Jedi must strive to remember this, as it removes what is often seen as the ultimate instinctual fear. When the Jedi have accepted the natural place of their own ending as well as the knowledge that whether they prevail or fall, the Force will remain with them, it becomes easier for a Jedi to put those fears aside and focus on the matters at hand.
When you overlay what I am about to say against the entire history of human's and their spiritual/religious beliefs it really doesn't seem that far out there. Star Wars is pure fiction and we all know that. But it is great story with a wealth of back story and supporting history that Lucas has provided over the last 3 decades. It also has a great deal of underlying philosophical/spiritual content in both the telling of the story and the provided history of that galaxy. Of course no sane person would believe that these events actually took place right? But when we look at the mainstream religious thought forms of today what do we have in terms of believability?
Yeah, I know, there are many other religions and they are all about as equally believable. Yet not one of them is, at the same time, both as entertainment and spiritually enlightening as is Star Wars. So I figure as long as I am going to seek answers in the dark about things I will never understand in this life (like everyone else) I may as well be entertained by it. You know, the whole balance between reverence and mirth thing.