Bipolar
Any posters on here suffer from Bipolar disorder? I won't elaorate as I don't want to splurge my personal life online but it's always good to chat.
Also just a quick one - I find that when I am in a great mood (not ever good, it's up or down. Euphoria or hard-up depression) I cannot remember what I did in my other mood.
For example I am in a shit mood now. Drinking like a motherfucker which I know doesn't help - but all I can remember today is my lecture. Yesterday is a blur and I genuinely don't know what I did. The same can be said when I am in a euphoric mood - I have no recollection what I do when I am down. One night I was found sitting on the edge of a motorway bridge and with a black eye/split lip so I was told by my housemates and the person who found me. This bridge in question is a good 3 miles from my house, too. I don't recall it though, just sitting in my room with a coat, trousers, shirt and shoes on. Scares me at times. Anyone else get what I mean? If my mood shoots up tomorrow (seeing Family, so maybe) then I will read back this post and have no recollection of typing it. Honest to the imaginary man in the sky.
:sad:
Also just a quick one - I find that when I am in a great mood (not ever good, it's up or down. Euphoria or hard-up depression) I cannot remember what I did in my other mood.
For example I am in a shit mood now. Drinking like a motherfucker which I know doesn't help - but all I can remember today is my lecture. Yesterday is a blur and I genuinely don't know what I did. The same can be said when I am in a euphoric mood - I have no recollection what I do when I am down. One night I was found sitting on the edge of a motorway bridge and with a black eye/split lip so I was told by my housemates and the person who found me. This bridge in question is a good 3 miles from my house, too. I don't recall it though, just sitting in my room with a coat, trousers, shirt and shoes on. Scares me at times. Anyone else get what I mean? If my mood shoots up tomorrow (seeing Family, so maybe) then I will read back this post and have no recollection of typing it. Honest to the imaginary man in the sky.
:sad:
Comments
I wouldn't recommend talking to a professional as this on your record can be problematic, but that's up to how severely it effects your life.
I can relate to what you're saying, do you find it to be very rapid cycling (More likely to be BPD) I have several months of majority depressive episodes or majority manic episodes, but within these months I have part of days to weeks of extremes of either, also I have alot of mixed affective moments.
This is a bit confusing, sorry.
These are the sub types, from wiki-
Wiki used to have the DSM criteria, but it isn't there any more so here's the page link.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bipolar_affective_disorder
With extremely rapid cycling it is very difficult to be diagnosed.
Remember your mind is a very powerful thing, positivity encourages stability (for me anyways)
See if you can relate to this-
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Borderline_personality_disorder
When looking at that graph I have to say I seem to fit into the Cyclothymia subsection. As I said I hate to be a whiney self-diagnosed bitch, but it seems the most accurate. For up to a week I won't leave my room (it's not been that bad lately) as I am so down. When the manic highs hit, I go out, blow money, run myself down and am on top of the world. It literally feels like anything gives me an orgasm as I just find everything so fascinating and engaging...which is very odd when contrasted with the lows. My mates realise I can be unpredictable, too, but are great support. The worst thing I get is sympathy. I'd rather someone tell me like it is and that the lows are not forever. Most people don't want to though, as they fear it will make it worse.
Cheers for the input
Although it gets to a point where it starts effect me seriously and I don't like this, especially if it's symptoms I've already experienced.
I'm pretty different lol.
I've gone through the psychotherapy, and never found it overly helpful.
My Dad's been schizophrenic and bi-polar, I think my Mum's schizotypal.
I can relate to all that you said, and I prefer to be told straight than people pussy footing around.
It's cool
Want a machete fight?
I've been on Ritalin all day, so I'm on a FUCKING good mood dude. Not in, on.
I had a sociology exam and wrote 3 pages in 40 mins, compared to my normal half page. I also just started and finished my whole PE pep in, like an hour, When I've had 3 months to do it.
And yeah, machete fight might snap me out of it.
Lifting weights a few times a week for an hour may do the same for you though.
Working out does help immensely I've found. Unfortunately I have a Medical condition which means I'm in crippling pain for 5 out of 7 days a week or so. It's pretty shit so any kind of labour or physical working-out-ness makes it worse. Just makes me feel worthless as fuck sometimes.
Yo, I feel you. no homo. The good memories seem so... pretend, sometimes just not their. I get so apathetic that I don't care about the good memories and dissolve into a state that isn't self pity. It's beyond self loathing, it's complete non-caring for myself, others and whatever other shit exists. Maybe it could be described as internal dissociation. I can't muster more than a fleeting moment of happiness. I don't feel particularly sad or depressed, just like worthless nothingness.
Fuck that shit. Grab a nail file and break out of your mental prison bro.
I've been through some rough shit but I'm pretty stable and reasonably happy now. Every once in a while though I'll go through a bad depressive or manic episode. I like to think of it as the disorder saying "sup bitch, didn't forget about me did you
I guess it's weird to personify a psychological disorder like that, but after living with it for so long, it's kind of hard not to.
That's a pretty good way of seeing it, actually. I am on Tramadol for my other medical condition and it plays havoc with my mood. One minute I'm having a full-blown mind orgasm and the next it feels as though the floor, and my mood have dropped through the planet.
Just had a phonecall with my gal. All is restored now. It's been too long.
/soppy twat
Is a bit freaky as I've never seen it before and a few hallmarks of my depressed episodes are the same as his. One day I laid out everything in my room and cleared up without leaving any kind of trace of where I had gone. Headed down to the train station, got a train to a port and was on the verge of getting a Ferry to mainland Europe.
Seriously. If it weren't for someone talking to me and bursting into tears at the entrance of the Port, I'd have done it and fuck knows where I'd be now.
Link to full torrent. HIGHLY reccommended. Pretty funny in parts as you never see this side of Mr Fry.