[h=3]50 Small Dick Jokes[/h]
1. When you got circumcised, did it take more than one try?
2. Your dick's so small, you can sodomize anys.
3. Your dick's so small, you can masturbate through the slits in a fork
4. Your dick's so small, you rent out the Hubbell when you have to piss.
5. Your dick's so small, bacteria laugh at it.
6. Your dick's so small, you could screw a pasta strainer.
7. Your dick's so small, the doctor wasn't quite sure what you were.
8. I never knew you could have a belly button under your stomach.
9. Your dick's so thin, I've seen paper clips wider.
10. Your dick's so crooked, it's like a compass, it always points north.
11. There's bread harder than your dick.
12. Your dick's so small, you could get a B.J. from a crease in a lip.
13. Your dick's so small, the police filed it a missing person.
14. Your dick's so small, a cop frisks you and asks, "Sex change?"
15. Your dick's so thin, you could turn it sideways and it'd disappear.
16. Your dick's so thin, Calista Flockhart (Ally McBeal) is jealous.
17. Your dick's so small, when you have sex, girls ask if it's in yet.
18. Your dick's so ugly, it's like a pimple with a pulse.
19. When you go swimming in cold water, does your dick get bigger?
20. Your confusin an inch with a foot again.
21. Your dick's so small, satisfying a woman for you is "Mission: Impossible".
22. There's a wrinkle in your pants, you hard?
23. How about I kick you in the nuts? That's a foot. Contrast and compare.
24. Your dick's so small, when you were born, the doctor smacked the wrong side.
25. Are you ever gonna get that wart lanced?
26. What does a man with a small penis have for breakfast? (PAUSE) I dunno, what'd you have?
27. Your dick's so thin, paper called you up and said, "YOU BASTARD!"
28. Your dick's so small, it sleeps in a matchbox with a cotton swab pillow.
29. Your dick's so small, you'll never be half the man your mother was.
30. Your dick's so small, you could use a thimble and fishing line for a thong.
31. Your dick's so small, I haven't laughed that hard since I saw your balls.
32. Your dick's so small, your condoms look like the thumb of a latex glove.
33. I bet you can make your dick disappear by breathing in and out.
34. Your dick's so ugly it cries itself to sleep at night.
35. Your dick's so small, you stand next to a light switch naked all day crying.
36. You got less meat in your pants than there is in a vegetarian restaurant.
37. After hours of going at it with a woman, she yawns and asks if you're done yet.
38. Your dick's so small, it looks like one of the California raisins.
39. Your dick must be tiny, I heard you had sex with a shower head.
40. When you get hard it looks like a toothpick.
41. Your dick's so thin, it represents Weight Watchers.
42. Your dick's so ugly, they put in fields to scare away the crows.
43. Your dick's so small, your girlfriend took it to court and they threw it out for lack of evidence.
44. The only time you can give a woman orgasm is when you pull out your American Express.
45. Your dick's so small, you think it's gonna explode when you cum.
46. Your doctor called he said you had a small problem.
47. You have to put the seat down to piss, right?
48. The only thing your dick's bigger than is a grain of dust.
49. Your dick's so small, you piss on your nuts.
50. Your dick's so small, sperm's a tight squeeze.
Thank you Lanny, but I know you're just saying that so I won't kill myself.
You're not a man, you don't know what it's like to have this condition.
I know people say size doesn't matter, but that's only true to a point. Satisfying intercourse could never be possible like this and I'm actually a very lonely person.
That isn't even the size it usually is, I was actually trying to get aroused so it wouldn't seem so pathetic. You guys know how your dick and balls change size when flaccid depending on the temperature? Mine gets so small and my foreskin gets so tight I can't even piss.
I took that pic sitting down. When I stand up it damn near goes inside of me:
Imagine being in school and having panic attacks before gym class because you were scared shitless that one day they might force you to shower or someone would pull your underwear down.
It's just too much for a person to handle.
Not one person here has any compassion? You're all disgusting.
Not one person here has any compassion? You're all disgusting.
LOL. At least we have dicks we can use.
You on the otherhand are so fucked up, Mother nature / evolution / some higher power has seen fit to make it damn near impossible to breed naturally. I am relieved this is the case, because you passing your genes on to anything would be little more than a disaster for our species, if you are indeed part of it.
You on the otherhand are so fucked up, Mother nature / evolution / some higher power has seen fit to make it damn near impossible to breed naturally. I am relieved this is the case, because you passing your genes on to anything would be little more than a disaster for our species, if you are indeed part of it.
The only way he could knock up a chick is if he came in his sisters shoes and let the flies do the rest.
Malice, you squalid spic, you're the very definition of a dysfunctional undermining of masculinity. I've never seen anyone on the internet display as many feminine characteristics as you do. I mean, why are you so desperate to be seen as "fucked up" by people that you'll never ever meet that you've cybered with another filthy pig to put your username next to it (yeah, I don't believe most of these pics are belonging to you). You're a god-awful worshipper of rectums. Everyone should just starve you of the attention you're craving, from this post onwards.
The only way he could knock up a chick is if he came in his sisters shoes and let the flies do the rest.
If that was a hope for him, he may have some hope. In all reality nature has probably wired his tubes backwards so he cums into his bladder (when it feels like he is cumming against a cat. Its little mercy his swimmers are drown in retard piss. I expect he also has some physical condition - apart from having a laughably small penis - I have seen clits half that size in front of me and more that size in pictures.
The guy needs to face the fact his only duty in life is to write instructions that upon his death he wants to be composted through a very large amount - 100 tons for his current bodyweight I would say. Burning him is no good, he would more than likely have so much shit infested with heavy metals (a more than valid reason for retardation) that burning would do little more than concentrate them.
If he had any decency as a human being at all, he would find himself a job on a ship, that goes over remote regions of the earth. Parts of the Antartic or Pacific oceans maybe the Indian ocean. Where is was farthest away from most people, he should jump.
Failing that, living in a IAEA reocognised danger zone a a hermit. The world needs more hermits.
Not one person here has any compassion? You're all disgusting.
Why should we have compassion for you when you repeatedly insult us & admit to abusing animals? You're sick. Your dick doesn't look right. A brown shrived dick is NOT normal. I'm not trying to be mean here, you NEED to see a doctor.
Relax Shady, you sound like kind of a bitch and, I don't know how to describe it, the kind of loser that goes to clubs, wears fashionable clothes, the uppity loser kind of female that's probably the norm now.
I'm going to a club this weekend, does that make you rage?
You on the otherhand are so fucked up, Mother nature / evolution / some higher power has seen fit to make it damn near impossible to breed naturally. I am relieved this is the case, because you passing your genes on to anything would be little more than a disaster for our species, if you are indeed part of it.
I agree. His body is not designed to reproduce. Mother Nature is saving the human race from having little mentally ill junior Bukus around.
My sex-change operation got botched
My guardian angel fell asleep on the watch
Now all I got is a Barbie Doll-crotch
I got an angry inch
Six inches forward and five inches back
I got a
I got an angry inch
Six inches forward and five inches back
I got a
I got an angry inch
I’m from the land where you still hear the cries
I had to get out, had to sever all ties
I changed my name and assumed a disguise
I got an angry inch
Six inches forward and five inches back
I got a
I got an angry inch
Six inches forward and five inches back
I got a
I got an angry inch
Six inches forward and five inches back
The train is coming and I’m tied to the track
I try to get up but I can’t get no slack
I got a
Angry Inch Angry Inch
My mother made my tits out of clay
My boyfriend told me that he’d take me away
They dragged me to the doctor one day
I've got an angry inch
Six inches forward and five inches back
I got a
I got an angry inch
Six inches forward and five inches back
I got a
I got an angry inch
Long story short
When I woke up from the operation
I was bleeding down there
I was bleeding from the gash between my legs
My first day as a woman
and already it’s that time of the month
But two days later
the hole closed up
The wound healed
and I was left with a one inch mound of flesh
where my penis used to be
where my vagina never was
A one inch mound of flesh with a scar running down it
like a sideways grimace
on an eyeless face
Just a little bulge
It was an angry inch
Six inches forward and five inches back
The train is coming and I’m tied to the track
I try to get up but I can’t get no slack
I got an
Angry Inch Angry Inch
Six inches forward and five inches back
stay under cover till the night turns to black
I got my inch and I’m set to attack
I got an Angry Inch Angry Inch
I got my Psychiatric evaluation forms back today after going home on the way to University. Not as mental as OP, but pretty funny nonetheless...
Thoughts of harming others: Yes, strangers/sister but no intent to act on these. Turns into "the Hulk".
Views of others: "Necessary"
View of the world: "Inevitable"
Unusual beliefs: "No. Interested in extremist beliefs but does not participate in any"
Drugs history: "Magic mushrooms - positive experience. Previous Cannabis use - no problems. None now"
Good times.
All of that is the reason I love my doctor.
She always asks if I ever feel like hurting myself.
Never asks if I feel like hurting other people.
I just go in, have a simple little chat, get a prescription refill.
Works just fine for me.
Edit: Also, TDR, you are awesome for the Hedwig song.
From what I've read of the OP's ramblings, I can wrap my head around some of his logic, I'll admit.
It's less a matter of sympathizing with him, and more years of cynicism.
Fuck orphanages, bitch.
He's still fucking nuts.
Comments
1. When you got circumcised, did it take more than one try?
2. Your dick's so small, you can sodomize anys.
3. Your dick's so small, you can masturbate through the slits in a fork
4. Your dick's so small, you rent out the Hubbell when you have to piss.
5. Your dick's so small, bacteria laugh at it.
6. Your dick's so small, you could screw a pasta strainer.
7. Your dick's so small, the doctor wasn't quite sure what you were.
8. I never knew you could have a belly button under your stomach.
9. Your dick's so thin, I've seen paper clips wider.
10. Your dick's so crooked, it's like a compass, it always points north.
11. There's bread harder than your dick.
12. Your dick's so small, you could get a B.J. from a crease in a lip.
13. Your dick's so small, the police filed it a missing person.
14. Your dick's so small, a cop frisks you and asks, "Sex change?"
15. Your dick's so thin, you could turn it sideways and it'd disappear.
16. Your dick's so thin, Calista Flockhart (Ally McBeal) is jealous.
17. Your dick's so small, when you have sex, girls ask if it's in yet.
18. Your dick's so ugly, it's like a pimple with a pulse.
19. When you go swimming in cold water, does your dick get bigger?
20. Your confusin an inch with a foot again.
21. Your dick's so small, satisfying a woman for you is "Mission: Impossible".
22. There's a wrinkle in your pants, you hard?
23. How about I kick you in the nuts? That's a foot. Contrast and compare.
24. Your dick's so small, when you were born, the doctor smacked the wrong side.
25. Are you ever gonna get that wart lanced?
26. What does a man with a small penis have for breakfast? (PAUSE) I dunno, what'd you have?
27. Your dick's so thin, paper called you up and said, "YOU BASTARD!"
28. Your dick's so small, it sleeps in a matchbox with a cotton swab pillow.
29. Your dick's so small, you'll never be half the man your mother was.
30. Your dick's so small, you could use a thimble and fishing line for a thong.
31. Your dick's so small, I haven't laughed that hard since I saw your balls.
32. Your dick's so small, your condoms look like the thumb of a latex glove.
33. I bet you can make your dick disappear by breathing in and out.
34. Your dick's so ugly it cries itself to sleep at night.
35. Your dick's so small, you stand next to a light switch naked all day crying.
36. You got less meat in your pants than there is in a vegetarian restaurant.
37. After hours of going at it with a woman, she yawns and asks if you're done yet.
38. Your dick's so small, it looks like one of the California raisins.
39. Your dick must be tiny, I heard you had sex with a shower head.
40. When you get hard it looks like a toothpick.
41. Your dick's so thin, it represents Weight Watchers.
42. Your dick's so ugly, they put in fields to scare away the crows.
43. Your dick's so small, your girlfriend took it to court and they threw it out for lack of evidence.
44. The only time you can give a woman orgasm is when you pull out your American Express.
45. Your dick's so small, you think it's gonna explode when you cum.
46. Your doctor called he said you had a small problem.
47. You have to put the seat down to piss, right?
48. The only thing your dick's bigger than is a grain of dust.
49. Your dick's so small, you piss on your nuts.
50. Your dick's so small, sperm's a tight squeeze.
"Are you trying to squeeze an extra inch in on me there Private?!"
Real men use a carpenters square.
29. Your dick's so small, you'll never be half the man your mother was.
HAhahah, hahahahaha. I am sorry but this is just damn fucking funny.
[SOUNDCLOUD]
Do you like big cocks, Shady? How big is your husbands?
Hahaha I just noticed that ZOMFG
Why the FUCK are you obsessed with my husband's dick? :facepalm: Fucking sick.
AHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAH. I love whoever did that!
Original picture.
You know he would molest your husband if he got the chance.
Something like
CAT FUCKER
The Angry Inch
How about that?
Haha perfect.
I bet he would. SICK.
Or cat molester.
loooooool.
No one has posted this, so I will:
Not one person here has any compassion? You're all disgusting.
You might as well just slap a strip of tape on that shit, grow some tits, and learn to take it in the ass.
LOL. At least we have dicks we can use.
You on the otherhand are so fucked up, Mother nature / evolution / some higher power has seen fit to make it damn near impossible to breed naturally. I am relieved this is the case, because you passing your genes on to anything would be little more than a disaster for our species, if you are indeed part of it.
The only way he could knock up a chick is if he came in his sisters shoes and let the flies do the rest.
If that was a hope for him, he may have some hope. In all reality nature has probably wired his tubes backwards so he cums into his bladder (when it feels like he is cumming against a cat. Its little mercy his swimmers are drown in retard piss. I expect he also has some physical condition - apart from having a laughably small penis - I have seen clits half that size in front of me and more that size in pictures.
The guy needs to face the fact his only duty in life is to write instructions that upon his death he wants to be composted through a very large amount - 100 tons for his current bodyweight I would say. Burning him is no good, he would more than likely have so much shit infested with heavy metals (a more than valid reason for retardation) that burning would do little more than concentrate them.
If he had any decency as a human being at all, he would find himself a job on a ship, that goes over remote regions of the earth. Parts of the Antartic or Pacific oceans maybe the Indian ocean. Where is was farthest away from most people, he should jump.
Failing that, living in a IAEA reocognised danger zone a a hermit. The world needs more hermits.
He may be a cat molester, but he has options.
Why should we have compassion for you when you repeatedly insult us & admit to abusing animals? You're sick. Your dick doesn't look right. A brown shrived dick is NOT normal. I'm not trying to be mean here, you NEED to see a doctor.
I'm going to a club this weekend, does that make you rage?
I agree. His body is not designed to reproduce. Mother Nature is saving the human race from having little mentally ill junior Bukus around.
I just realized he is most likely on Medicaid & if he goes to the doctor our tax dollars will pay for it. :facepalm:
Angry Inch Lyrics
My sex-change operation got botched
My guardian angel fell asleep on the watch
Now all I got is a Barbie Doll-crotch
I got an angry inch
Six inches forward and five inches back
I got a
I got an angry inch
Six inches forward and five inches back
I got a
I got an angry inch
I’m from the land where you still hear the cries
I had to get out, had to sever all ties
I changed my name and assumed a disguise
I got an angry inch
Six inches forward and five inches back
I got a
I got an angry inch
Six inches forward and five inches back
I got a
I got an angry inch
Six inches forward and five inches back
The train is coming and I’m tied to the track
I try to get up but I can’t get no slack
I got a
Angry Inch Angry Inch
My mother made my tits out of clay
My boyfriend told me that he’d take me away
They dragged me to the doctor one day
I've got an angry inch
Six inches forward and five inches back
I got a
I got an angry inch
Six inches forward and five inches back
I got a
I got an angry inch
Long story short
When I woke up from the operation
I was bleeding down there
I was bleeding from the gash between my legs
My first day as a woman
and already it’s that time of the month
But two days later
the hole closed up
The wound healed
and I was left with a one inch mound of flesh
where my penis used to be
where my vagina never was
A one inch mound of flesh with a scar running down it
like a sideways grimace
on an eyeless face
Just a little bulge
It was an angry inch
Six inches forward and five inches back
The train is coming and I’m tied to the track
I try to get up but I can’t get no slack
I got an
Angry Inch Angry Inch
Six inches forward and five inches back
stay under cover till the night turns to black
I got my inch and I’m set to attack
I got an Angry Inch Angry Inch
There is always that...
Or maybe he did the race a favor and hung himself.
Haha this.
Yah.
Good times.
All of that is the reason I love my doctor.
She always asks if I ever feel like hurting myself.
Never asks if I feel like hurting other people.
I just go in, have a simple little chat, get a prescription refill.
Works just fine for me.
Edit: Also, TDR, you are awesome for the Hedwig song.
From what I've read of the OP's ramblings, I can wrap my head around some of his logic, I'll admit.
It's less a matter of sympathizing with him, and more years of cynicism.
Fuck orphanages, bitch.
He's still fucking nuts.
Fucking LOL. +100 points for you.
STFU, Everyone but you gets to make fun of Buku and you are the only one Buku is allowed to make fun of.
You can't hurt me, I'm protected by a Blind Guardian.